Respect Advisory Curriculum

Respect Advisory Curriculum
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• Students will be able to define respect.
• Students will understand how respect is fundamental to a positive sense of self.
• Students will understand the merits of the value of respect.

• Students will be able to verbalize and write a personal definition of respect.
• Students will be able to identify respectful and disrespectful acts.
• Given a situation involving a dilemma or conflict, students will be able to propose responses that are respectful.

• Understanding Respect
• What do you want on your Tombstone?
• Respect Heroes
• Human Worth and Dignity
• The Frog and the Snake
• Identity
• Respect Continuum

• Quote Triggers
• Respect on the Big Screen
• Human Relations
• Respect in the News
• Be Counted
• Barbie Lab
• Perspectives on Respect

• Apply the value of respect to create positive change in your school and community.
• Integration of respect awareness, understanding and applications to events as they occur.

• Bullying, harassment and other forms of victimization will decrease.
• Students will be empowered to stand up for underdogs.
• Mentoring and cross-age relationships will increase.

• Respect Role Plays
• Respecting Self: Mind, Body, and Spirit
• Respect Panels
• The Gap

• Respect Letters
• Respect Team
• Respect Mentors
• Respect in the Community
• Debriefing Sessions
• Teachable Moments
• Publish

Time: 30-35 minutes (or two days for 20 minutes each)

Goal: To help students explore their ideas about what respect is.

Materials: Magazines with expressive pictures-sport and travel magazines work well.

Preparation: None

Description:

Day 1: Brainstorm for a few minutes, with the class, all the words and phrases that come to mind when they hear the word respect. Save the list on the board or transfer to paper. Briefly discuss the difference between respect for self, others and places. Ask the students to spend some time looking through the magazines and tearing out pictures that represent respect or disrespect to them. After about ten minutes, have the students look through the pictures and select 2 that express the idea of respect the most to them. Ask them to write 3-5 sentences about each picture saying why and how it represents respect. Have each student paper clip their pictures and writings together, put their name on them and hand them in.

Day 2: Return the pictures and allow some time to finish their writings. Have the students get in small groups and share their pictures and why they chose them. While they are in small groups, put the respect brainstorm words back on the board. When they are done sharing, ask the students if they have any words/phrases to add to the list. Ask if anyone's idea of respect has changed. Next, have the group select the five words/phrases that they think best describe respect. Have each group share their words/phrases with the class. You can post the pictures and key words in the room.

Discussion Questions:

• What is the key concept for understanding respect?
• In your opinion, which type of respect is most important - respect for self, others or places?

• Was it easier to find respectful or disrespectful pictures?
• Do you more often see respectful or disrespectful behaviors in your school?
• Where did you learn about respect?

Time: 30 minutes (or 2 days for 15 minutes each)

Goal: Students will be able to identify what they value and the importance of living out those values.

Materials: Blank, unlined paper "tombstones" (ideally paper with a rounded top or marble-like paper.)

Preparation: Ask students to calculate what year they will turn 75 years old. Ask them to select a specific date in that year.

Description:

Day 1: Read the following to your class:

"Imagine the date that you picked (for example: July 28, 2060) is the date of your death. Assume you have led a full life and your dreams have been realized. How would you like to be remembered? What would you want on your tombstone?" You may either follow the format below or brainstorm from the group. Remember if you brainstorm from the group, a key point of the lesson is a contradiction in the values between what we want to be remembered for and how we are living our life, so make sure values and accomplishments end up on the tombstone.

• Here lies (your full name)
• Born (date of your birth)
• Died (date see above )
• Three values this person lived by
• Best remembered for (your motto for living)

Day 2: Briefly review day one. Hand back the sheets that the students completed the day before. Distribute "tombstones" and make sure everyone "engraves" their data. When the "tombstones" are complete share in small groups or as a class.

Discussion Questions:

• What are the three values on your tombstone?
• How are the three values on your tombstone different than the three values you are currently living out in your life?
• If not now, when are you going to close the gap?
• From your tombstone, what do you want to be remembered for?
• What are you doing now to get to that place?
• Is your motto on your tombstone any different from your motto for living now? How come?
• What was an insight you had from this activity?

Time: 15 minutes and ongoing

Goal: To help students identify and learn from respect role models.

Materials: None

Preparation: Decide on a hero or idol to serve as a group "Respect Mentor."

Description: Share a story-either about your "Respect Mentor" or read a story illustrating respect. Start a discussion with the students about the different ways we learn about respect. Talk about how much we learn by watching other people-friends, celebrities, teachers, parents, etc. Ask the students to take some time and write about someone they admire because of the way they "stand up" for respect and what they have learned from them. Collect all of the stories. At the beginning of each week, ask one of the students to come up and read/tell the story about their personal "Respect Hero."

Time: 60 minutes

Goal: To help students identify the dynamics of "labeling" others.

Materials: Headbands labeled for 8-10 volunteers

Preparation:

1. Write words from the list below on 3x5 cards
2. Staple the cards to paper bands or cloth bandanas
3. Distribute headbands to 8-10 volunteers.

Possible labels

ignore me speak slowly and clearly to me smile and touch me agree with me idolize me give me "elevator eyes" avoid me put me down

listen to me flirt with me don't take me seriously be afraid of me interrupt me encourage me have students make up labels from their own experiences

Description: Attach headbands to volunteer. Do no let them see their "label." Create a circle of observers from the remaining class members. Explain that the object is to explore the interaction of the people wearing labels, not to guess or give hints to what the labels say.

Instruct volunteers not to look at their labels or reveal others' labels by direct or indirect comments. The goal is to accomplish the following serious task while interacting based on the nametags. If participants get silly, freeze the action and remind the group that you do have an important task to complete.

The task is as a group to plan a school-wide campus "Respect Day." Items open for discussion include date, place, food, activities, entertainment, involvement of this group, speakers, and goals. You have a budget of $10 per student enrolled in the school.

After about ten minutes, put participants individually on the hot seat with the following questions:

• How did this activity feel for you?
• How are others reacting to you?
• Would you want to continue like this?
• What do you think your label says?

Next, reveal labels and process the following questions in small groups or as a class:

Discussion Questions:

How does it feel to be labeled? Does it change the way you feel about others and yourself? Do certain people have "labels" that make you treat them a certain way? How do you choose your friends? Does what other people think of them influence your choice? What does this have to do with respect? What needs to change?

How can race, religion, age, sex, economics and/or disabilities be labels? What "groups" are there at our school? What are some stereotypes regarding these groups? Where is the line between having fun and making fun? What hurtful put downs or prejudice have you witnessed or experienced at our school? What do you think Mother Teresa meant when she said, "When you label people you have no time to love them"? What is one step toward positive change?

Time: 30 minutes

Goal: To help students identify the dynamics of stereotypes.

Materials: Resource One - Why the Frog and the Snake Never Play Together (African Folk Tale)

Preparation: None

Description: Read the African Folk Tale, Why the Frog and the Snake Never Play Together

Discussion Questions:

1. What was your reaction to this story?
2. Do these behaviors occur in your school? How?
3. What are the negative consequences of such behaviors?
4. How do you feel when someone makes assumptions about you?
5. How do you react? What can you do differently?
6. What do you do to combat stereotypes?

Resource One

Respect Reading

Why the Frog and the Snake Never Play Together
African Folk Tale

Once upon a time, the child of the Frog was hopping along in the bush when he spied someone new lying across the path before him. This someone was long and slender, and his skin seemed to shine with all the colors of the rainbow.
"Hello there," called the Frog-child. "What are you doing lying here in the path?"
"Just warming myself in the sun," answered the someone new, twisting and turning and uncoiling himself. "My name is Snake-child. What is yours?"
"I am Frog-child. Would you like to play with me?" So Frog-child and Snake-child played all morning long in the bush.

"Watch what I can do," said Frog-child, and he hopped high into the air. "I'll teach you how, if you want," he offered.
So he taught Snake-child how to hop, and together they hopped up and down the path through the bush.
"Now watch what I can do," said Snake-child, and he crawled on his belly straight up the trunk of a tall tree. "I'll teach you if you want."

So he taught Frog-child how to slide on his belly and climb into trees. After a while they both grew hungry and decided to go home for lunch, but they promised each other to meet again the next day.
"Thanks for teaching me how to hop," called the Snake-child.
"Thanks for teaching me how to crawl up trees," called the Frog-child.

Then they each went home.
"Look what I can do, Mother!" cried Frog-child, crawling on his belly.
"Where did you learn how to do that?" his mother asked.
"Snake-child taught me," he answered. "We played together in the bush this morning. He is my new friend."
"Don't you know the Snake family is a bad family?" his mother asked. "They have poison on their teeth. Don't ever let me catch you playing with one of them again. And don't let me see you crawling on your belly, either. It isn't proper."

Meanwhile, Snake-child went home and hopped up and down for his mother to see.
"Who taught you to do that?" she asked.
"Frog-child did," he said. "He's my new friend."
"What foolishness," said his mother. "Don't you know we've been on bad terms with the Frog family for longer than anyone can remember? The next time you play with Frog-child, catch him and eat him up. And stop that hopping. It isn't our custom."

So the next morning when Frog-child met Snake-child in the bush, he kept his distance.
"I'm afraid I can't go crawling with you today," he called, hopping back a hop or two.
Snake-child eyed him quietly, remembering what his mother had told him. "If he gets too close, I'll spring at him and eat him," he thought.

But then he remembered how much fun they had had together, and how nice Frog-child had been to teach him how to hop. So he sighed sadly to himself and slid away into the bush. And from that day onward, Frog-child and Snake-child never played together again. But they often sat alone in the sun, each thinking about their one day of friendship.

Time: 30- 40 minutes (or 2 days for 20 minutes)

Goal: To help students identify the most significant parts of their identity and how stereotyping can be hurtful.

Materials: Resource Two, construction paper and markers

Preparation: Make copies of Resource Two. Create a bulletin board with the following on top:

• Respect your peers when they say:
• I wish that people would not...

Instructions:

Day 1: Hand out Resource Two, go over the questions and ask the students to complete it. Have them get into pairs or small groups and share their answers one question at a time. Collect the sheets.

Day 2: Pass back the work sheets. Briefly review Day 1. Ask for volunteers to share their answer to question two with the whole class. Have them write the answer to the last question in big letters with markers on construction paper. Collect the statements and randomly hand them back to the students. Ask the students to stand up and read the statement they have and then tape it on the bulletin board previously created. Process using the discussion questions.

Ongoing: Generate a complete list from discussion question five. Ask each person to commit to two things. Have them write them and seal them in an envelope that you return in a month or two.

Ask the class to be extra observant when it comes to stereotypes. To notice all the different ways that assumptions are being made about people because of who they are or are not. Check in weekly and ask for stories.

Discussion Questions:

1. Where do stereotypes come from?
2. How can stereotypes be harmful? Explain.
3. How often are people stereotyped in your school?
4. How do you feel when someone makes assumptions about you?
5. How do you react?
6. How can we "Stand Up" and help eliminate stereotypes?

Resource Two

Identity and Stereotyping

Name:

1. Write the five aspects of your identity that you consider the most important in defining who you are. Some examples would include: Funny, athlete, friend, sister, musician, risk taker, etc.

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

2. Select one from the list above and talk about why you selected it as an important way to define you, or talk about a time when you were proud of that part of your identity.

3. Complete this statement with something that people do or say because of an assumption they make about an aspect of your identity: I wish that people would not... Example: ...assume that I am weak because I am a girl.

Time: 20-30 minutes

Goal: To help students explore their attitudes and opinions related to respect.

Materials: Paper

Preparation:

Write each of the following in large letters on a sheet of paper:

1 - Strongly Agree; 2 - Agree; 3 - Disagree; 4 - Strongly Disagree

Tape the sheets on the wall - one in each corner.

Description: Ask the students to start in the center of the room. Read the statements below one at a time and have them move to the sign that best reflects how they feel about the statement. Ask the discussion questions during the activity.Statements:

Courtesy and politeness are a lot of nonsense. When people stay out of a bully's way, they are showing respect. I only respect people if they respect me. This school would be a better (less violent) place if there was more respect. Stereotypes are just a part of life and there is nothing I can do about them.

People need to earn my respect. If I see someone being bullied I stay out of it because it is not my business. I think it is wrong to judge people by the way they look. I am a respectful person. It is difficult to respect others if you donÕt respect yourself.

Discussion Questions:

1. Why are you standing where you are?
2. Have you always felt that way? If not, when did it change?
3. Do you think that you live according to where you are standing?
4. Do you wish that things were different and you could stand somewhere else?
5. Is it difficult to be respectful at school? Explain.
6. Are there places where it is easier to be respectful? Explain.
7. How can you ÒStand UpÓ and make a difference?

One possible and proven strategy: Use Resource Three - Respect Quotes and slice the quote page into strips. Distribute one quote to each student.

Ideas to use:

• Have each student mold a short story or poem around the quote.
• Have each student or group create a poster that exemplifies the quote.
• Have each student or group produce a video commercial that highlights the quote.
• Have each student create an art project around the quote.
• Have each student write Respect Haikus.
• Have each student send a letter to someone based on the quote.

Respect on the Big Screen

As an assignment, ask students to find a five-minute or less video or DVD clip of an instance of respect depicted in a movie. One caveat: no R movies.

Ask students to introduce and explain how they feel respect is depicted, and view the video or DVD. These clips will trigger lively class discussions. Encourage students to seek input from parents and friends to begin discussions about respect at dinner tables and in the lunchroom at school.

Discussion Questions:

• How easy was it to find respectful behavior in movies?
• What about the clip showed respect?
• How is the situation the same or different than what we see in everyday life?
• Does seeing the clip give you ideas for dealing with situations in your own life? How?

Human Relations

Create an activity around the class reading Resource Four and deciding if they agree or disagree and why

Respect in the News

Bring in a diverse collection of newspapers, publications, newsletters, etc. Give the class some time to look through the papers and find positive examples of respect and cut them out. Ask for volunteers to share their stories daily or once a week as an opening or closing to class.

Be Counted

Opposition to labor unions, religious persecution, ethnic cleansing, racial discrimination, sexism, forced ritual mutilation, refusal to participate in the military, immigration laws, sexual orientation and discrimination based on age, weight, appearance, clothing, diet, or language are only some examples of how people have been disrespected for being different or for representing new ways of doing things. Ask students or student groups to focus on a specific example and complete a report, presentation, art project or debate.

Barbie Lab

With a Mattel Barbie doll as a model, find the ratio and figure out the life-size measurements of Barbie if she was a real woman. What would Barbie's waist, bust and hips measure? This lab can lead to a lively discussion about media, eating disorders, unrealistic expectations, sexism, racism, gender stereotypes and respect.

Note: This will be a very sensitive topic to several students in your class. Refrain from comparing or taking measurements of students.

Perspectives on Respect

Work the following questions into a written or oral activity:

• Does everyone have respect? Explain.
• Is respect something people are born with, learned, or both?
• Describe respect to a five-year-old.
• Describe respect to a 70-year-old.
• Do traumatic events create who we are or reveal who we are?
• Describe respect in pantomime.
• Is respect important in schools, the military, in politics, in families, in relationships, in government, at parties?

[+] Resource Three

[+] Resource Four

Time: 45-50 minutes

Goal: To help students learn how bystanders have the power to intervene and defuse potentially harmful situations.

Materials: None

Description:

Introduce the activity with the following quote:

"If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain as he is. If you treat an individual as he should or could be, he will become the person he should or could be."- Goethe

With the group, brainstorm bullying situations. Flush out the scenarios to make certain there are a bully, a victim and at least one bystander. There may also be incidental characters. Change details to make the situations more relevant or gripping for your class. Make sure you create a scene where a vulnerable person - the victim, is trapped in a situation where he or she is being badgered, pressured or offended by a bully.

The task for the group is to develop possible non-violent interventions for bystanders that will create a healthy, peaceful and respectful outcome. A key to the success of these role plays is for participants to spend time becoming invested in the role. No one is simply a bystander, or a bully, or victim. Encourage a full development of personality and background for each character. Have each character meet in a small group to help forge a biography. Remind students that the deeper the characters are, the better the role-plays will be. Guide students to ensure characters are truly typical. Instruct students to assign characters and "role play" the situations. After role-playing possible permutations, assemble the group to process observations.

Process questions:

• In this role-play, what forces encourage bystander involvement and what forces discourage it? Explain your answer.
• What type of situation would make it difficult for you to get involved as a bystander?
• What type of situation would make it easy for you to get involved as a bystander?
• Have you ever been in a situation when a bystander helped you out? Or in a situation when you wish someone had become involved?
• As a bystander, what reasons compel you to get involved and help defuse potentially harmful or hurtful situations?

Time: 20 minutes and ongoing

Goal: To help students learn new ways to respect themselves.

Materials: Jar or can, post-it notes, small prize for one group (3-6 people)-candy, pencils, toys, etc.

Preparation: Write "mind," "body," and "spirit" out across the top of the board.

Description: Have a discussion with the class about the idea that it can be easier to respect others when you respect yourself using the discussion questions. Ask the students to explain the difference between mind, body and spirit. Divide the class into groups of 3-6 people.

Give the groups ten minutes. During that time the groups need to brainstorm things you can do to respect your mind, body and spirit, write them on post-it notes and stick them on the board under the correct heading. Make sure that each team has a way to mark their teamÕs post-it notes so they get credit. Only one person from a group can be up at a time and they canÕt post something that is already on the board. Give the prize to the team that posted the most original ideas.

Briefly go over the list on the board. Fold all of the post-it notes and put them in a jar. At the beginning of each week/month have a student select a slip and read it. That will be the theme for that week/month Ð write it somewhere in the classroom. Ask the students to make an extra effort to respect themselves that way and encourage their friends to during that week/month. Ask for stories at the end of the week/month.

Discussion Questions:

• Why is it important to respect yourself?
• Is it easier to respect others when you respect yourself? Explain.
• Do you think there are a lot of people that don't respect themselves? Why do you think that is?
• Is it possible to learn to respect yourself at your age? If yes, is it easy?
• Is there anything you can do to help others respect themselves?

Time: 15-20 minutes prep, 45-50 minutes for panel

Goal: To help students share what they've learned about the value of respect with younger students.

Preparation:

1. Split class into groups of five and schedule panel discussions with classes that are at least three years younger than your class.
2. Be sure the teacher of the younger class has held some discussions about respect and about some of the middle school students' concerns about attending high school or the process of becoming an adult prior to the panel discussion with your students.

Description: The theme of the panel discussions is Respect - Respect for Yourself, Respect for Others and Standing up for Respect. Each panel member would share specific experiences that deal with the value of respect. Students could begin with, "Knowing what I know now, if I was in 7th grade today I would..," or "...what I regret about my 7th grade experience is...." The panel would then be opened up for questions and discussion between the panel members and the younger students.

1. What does respect mean to you?
2. What are things that you can do everyday to be respectful?
3. Where did you learn about respect?
4. Are there many disrespectful people in your class?
5. Is there any thing you as students can do to make it better?

Time: 20 minutes and ongoing

Materials: "Top Ten Respectful and Disrespectful" lists from your school's Respect Retreat

Description: Have a discussion with the group about the idea of standing up that was talked about at the retreat. (Many students are not disrespectful to themselves or others but they need to Òstand upÓ and do something when they see others being disrespectful.) Take the ÒTop Ten DisrespectfulÓ lists from the Respect Retreat or have the class brainstorm a new list of the most disrespectful acts that happen at school. As a class narrow the list to three that they want to focus on. Split the class into six groups and have two groups work with each of the acts. Ask the groups to list all the things you can do to Òstand upÓ and help stop the disrespectful acts. As a class, focus on one issue at a time for a set period of time. You can post all of the ideas on a bulletin board to remind people what they can be doing. Check in at the beginning and/or end of each week to remind people and hear stories.

Example: Gossip

• Don't listen
• Don't spread
• Go to the source
• Ask people not to do it
• Respectfully confront people who start gossip

Discussion Questions:

• Is it disrespectful to watch someone get bullied? Explain.
• Is it disrespectful to laugh at a rude joke? Explain.
• Does it bother you when your friends are cruel to others? Explain.
• What does it mean to stand up for Respect?
• What are the risks to standing up?
• What are the potential benefits to standing up?

The Gap

Ask each student to brainstorm people whose respect has inspired, challenged, encouraged, supported or motivated him or her. The lists could include family members, coaches, friends, professional athletes, teachers, celebrities and neighbors. From their lists, ask each student to select one person and write them a letter expressing gratitude and detailing how they have been touched by some demonstration of respect by that person. Share the letters and mail.

Respect Team

Begin a leadership group whose mission is to create positive change by taking a positive stand, intervening, breaking cycles of victimization and publicly affirming shared, positive community values.

Respect Mentors

Initiate a mentoring program with younger students.

Respect in the Community

Ask students to seek out community members who have endured or triumphed over disrespect. Interview and report back to the class or host a presentation, making certain the student has an active role in the presentation. It should be an interview or joint presentation, not an introduction followed by the student sitting down with the rest of the class.

Debriefing Sessions

Regularly practice and debrief actual events. Identify together the early indicators of how a dilemma escalates, the actual responses used, alternate (good or bad) responses and what can be learned for future dilemmas. (i.e., What did you do? What did you learn? What should you do in the future?) Students will be able to increase discernment of situations through regular practice and debrief of situations that arise. Another objective of the debrief is to breakdown the event into a sequence of signs and indicators so that dilemmas or opportunities become easier to spot in the future.

Teachable Moments

When acts of respect emerge, seize the moment to process and make the implicit explicit. Point out how a student or group of students, by acting with respect, made a difference, i.e., overcame an obstacle, stopped a victimization, lifted people up.

Double Back

Loop back through Levels One and Two and remind students what they learned.

Publish

Find ways for public affirmation and acknowledgement of students, teachers, school staff, volunteers and parents.