Stories From the Front

We did a Courage retreat the other day. At the closing time, when students have a chance to share something with their classmates, one of the girls I had been interacting with quite a lot that day said, "My name is Jenny and my act of courage is to stand up for myself. I get so angry I can barely breathe because I am just so tired of things you say about me behind my back, the names you call me. I want you to know that I hear what you're saying and I'm up here because I want it to stop. I may be different than you but I am a person too and I'm asking you to stop it."

A few acts of courage later a boy named Ben got up and said, "My Act of Courage is to stand up for other people. Jenny, I'm one of those people who called you names in the past and I want you to know that I am really sorry. I promise to stop and also to stand up for you if I hear my friends picking on you."

After the retreat Jenny came up to me and told me how grateful she was. She said, "I would have never have had the chance, I would have never had thought to stand up for myself if you hadn't come today. I finally got to say something I've needed to say for a long long time." Her own experience of her personal power was changed forever. She had never held the people bullying her responsible for their actions and never even considered it as a possible way of responding.

The thing I've found about these retreats is that it's not just about the potential change in action. No matter what mean words kids might say to Jenny down the road, she has learned a new and powerful way to respond. She has found where she does have control and has learned an active, positive way to deal with the upsetting situations she may find herself in. The look on Jenny's face was clear. What she had gotten that day was a sense of her own power, the ability to take an active role in challenging how people treat her. She made a giant paradigm leap that day, from victimhood to empowerment.

-Carrie Miller

The first time a local high school brought us in to facilitate a Respect Retreat with their 9th grade class, a boy named Jake stood up, walked to the center of the circle and talked about his commitment to making his class, school and community a better place.

Two years later, as a Junior, he joined Link Crew, a leadership program. Both his junior and senior years he was one of the most inspiring mentors on the Repect Retreat for the current 9th grade classes.

Now attending Hamline College, he is involved in several activies to better his community. When Jake came back to home to visit his high school, he told one of his former teachers he wouldn't be involved in all these community activities if it wasn't for his involvement in Link Crew and he wouldn't have join Link Crew if it wasn't for the Respect Retreat his 9th grade year. He said, "The Respect Retreat changed my life, it made me more confident and willing to put myself out there."

-Debra Grahn

I delivered a Respect retreat at a local urban school. Because of the size of the school we had to break the kids into three different groups and deliver three Respect retreats in three days. We were on our second day and a teacher came over during lunch to check out the retreat. She had missed the previous day when her kids attended so that she could get some pressing work done. The teacher pulled me aside and told me that she was teaching her students and they just seemed different. They were quieter in the classroom and more respectful of the atmosphere. The students were so different that she had to ask them, "What is going on today?"

A student simply replied back to her,"We grew up yesterday."

-Jamie Zuel

I led a Kindness Retreat the other day. During the closing period when students have the opportunity to stand up and speak to one another a high school leader stood up and shared her card. She talked about how she would treat her classmates and teachers and then she thanked Youth Frontiers because she remembers what a difference this kindness retreat meant to her so many years ago.

Wow, that would have been 6 or 7 years ago. It's amazing to think about what a lasting impact we have on students' lives.

-Todd Maas

During a recent Respect Retreat the school contact pulled me aside during lunch and told me that the next day was a particularily hard day for this 9th grade class. Three years ago they lost a classmate to an accident. She thought it might come up at some point and wanted to make sure we were prepared.

During the closing time of the retreat, we give the students a chance to stand up and speak to one another. Corey, a 9th grader got up and spoke. He said, "I chose to work on standing up for respect because I know tomorrow is going to be hard on all of us. An important person died 3 years ago tomorrow and a lot of us lost a very good friend. Tomorrow, my goal is to be there for anyone, even if I don't know you well. I will be there for anyone who needs it because I know how hard tomorrow will be on me too." Although this day would be a hard one for many people, we all knew that the class would come together and support each other - what a positive group of students.

-Todd Maas

Chesney, one of the high school seniors on my Respect Retreat, was the prom queen at her school. She was doing an awesome job all day in the small groups with the 9th graders. Chesney had gotten a lot of participation from her small group and had given every ounce of her energy to the day. She even sang the loudest during all the songs!

At the end of the day when we give the students an opportunity to share what they've learned throughout the day, she got up and shared this; "Ninth graders, you really amazed me with your great attitude today. I want to say that if any one of you needs someone to talk to, you can pull any one of us seniors aside. Just look us in our eyes and tell us you need to talk. I'm not just saying this stuff because it sounds good. We will take the time for you because we care about you so much, we really do. So just ask." Chesney not only showed her leadership in the school and her ability to have a positive influence, but she also saw how she and all of her classmates could help one another to build a more positive school community.

-Todd Maas

Last week we were doing a Respect retreat. At the end of the day we ask the students to share what they learned from the day with their classmates. Often they share personal experiences about the respect and disrespect that they see in their school.

One of the first students to the microphone that day was Dustin. "Everyday I come to school I feel like I have to put on armor in order to survive. I go home and I look in the mirror and I don't even see me, I see the dents in the armor from all the things you guys say and do to me. I don't think any of you have ever really seen me. I wish I could take off this armor and not get hurt." The room was silent. Dustin's words and images of wearing armor had struck a chord of truth, empathy and understanding with his classmates. They heard him - and they got it.

A few moments later another 9th grade boy got on the microphone and offered a sincere apology and then walked right to Dustin with open arms and gave him a bear hug. Over the course of the next 20 minutes several other young men followed with their apologies, remorse and promises of changed behavior. Many took the opportunity to give Dustin a hug or a pat on the shoulder.

I checked in with Dustin at the end of the day, as several of his classmates had now approached him with an outpouring of support that had him in tears of joy. "Dustin, take a break if you need to," I said. "No, I'm fine...this is amazing. Thank you guys." he said with a big smile on his face.

Then a buddy of Dustin's chimed in with a moment of 9th grade levity. "It sure is amazing...he's even getting hugs from girls!"

-Todd Hansen

At the end of our Respect Retreats we gather the students in a circle and give them all a chance to speak to each other about respect in their class and school. The first 10th grader to walk to the center spoke about losing the two most important people in his life: his best friend and his cousin. He wished he could have had an opportunity to tell each of them how much they meant to him. Lance reminded his classmates how important it is to treat people with respect; you never know when that chance could be gone forever.

Following Lance, Anna, a 10th grade girl, talked how people in her life have made her feel worthless, but today, she decided not to listen to those voices. Instead she will make a commitment to respecting herself more. She will make the commitment to see the 97 right, not the 3 wrong.

Immediately after, Candace walked up to the microphone. She spoke of feeling invisible in her 10th grade class. She realized today that she doesn't have to be. Her commitment is to break free of being shy and meet people in her school, making new friends in high school for the first time.

One of the biggest issues in this high school was how the so-called "mean girls" treated their classmates. After these 3 individuals challenged themselves and their peers to start respecting one another, one of the popular girls - labeled a "mean girl" stood up. She said that she couldn't believe what some of her classmates were dealing with; she had no idea. When speaking of the friends she had since kindergarten, she wondered if she were to meet them for the first time today, if she would still choose these people as friends. Her commitment was to branch out to new people in her class; to hopefully expand her friend circle with peers who live out and represent the value of respect in their school. What a great commitment, inspirational!

-Debra Grahn

Today I was at a particularly powerful Wisdom Retreat, since the class was close and extraordinarily kind to one another. For example, the all-star athlete in the class and was a vocal leader in the room - yet was still one of the nicest kids in the room. As quarterback, he helped lead the team to two straight state championships and has a chance to be a pro-baseball player. Despite all this, he was a really all-star person. This sort of positive attitude was echoed throughout the rest of his classmates. There was lots of students mentioning how proud they were to be a part of that class. They discussed how kind they were to each other, how proud they were of one another, and most importantly, how many great memories they'd had together.

Then, towards the end of the sharing time, a tall and quiet senior named Doug stood up. He'd chosen to spend most of the day on the outside and didn't seem to identify with any particular group. He grabbed the microphone and said, "I hear all of you talk about the great memories you've had here at school and I realize I don't really have many. I've just kind of kept to myself and so haven't made many friends here." You could tell that he really wanted to go on and say that it wasn't what he wanted to have happen with his high school experience, but couldn't seem to muster the words. Instead, he mumbled a few more words and then sat down.

Then another student stood up said a very usual comment about being proud of the class, but then he turned to Doug and said, "Doug, I have a story for you. All those times we sat in your car after school and ate sandwiches; I'll never forget that. Thanks." Then several other people got up and shared other memories of Doug. It was awesome to see the class come together like this, and the best part of all is that Doug has 6 more weeks of high school left to add new stories!

-John Sandahl

During a Courage Retreat, I was holding our standard teacher meeting where we explain what happens during the day and what follow up materials could be used after the retreat. I was asking each of the teachers about what they do in the school. The last teacher gruffly said, "I don't really want to be here." He was pretty skeptical of what would happen during the day. I replied, "That happens and I know you guys are really busy and do a lot of work. I do want to thank you for being here and I hope by the end of the day you will see some positive outcomes." He sort of shrugged and I went on with the meeting. At the end of the day, after all the students were gone, I look up and saw this same teacher coming my way. He said, "Todd" and then he paused and he looked down for a moment. When he finally looked up he had tears in his eyes. He extended his hand and said, "This is the best thing I have ever seen. Thank you for coming and we will see you again."

-Todd Maas

I delivered a Courage Retreat last week. And in this particular area, the community is severely depressed due to crime, tragedy and poverty. These seventh graders discussed their fears of rejection, failure, or not fitting in like most middle school students. Shockingly however, the number one fear for these students was the fear of death.

These kids were scared to stand up in front of their class, for fear of being ridiculed by one another. By the end of the day though, they faced their fears of each other, and opened up about how they were feeling. A few of the students stood up during the closing sharing time, Pebble in the Pond, and said their Act of Courage was just to stand up in front of their class and say something. Throughout the Pebble activity, I saw one girl, practicing and whispering to herself, "My name is Miranda, and my act of courage is to be kinder to others. My name is Miranda, and my act of courage is to be kinder to others. My name is Miranda...." I heard her practice this over and over and over. She finally went to the front, dropped her pebble in and said these few words she had been practicing. For Miranda, this was a huge act of courage, and she was so happy that she overcame her fear.

-Kecia Winter

At our retreats we rely on our small group high school leaders to help us and be responsible for the students in their groups. Occasionally, though, we have a high school leader who goes above and beyond to help out. Adam came early to help set up and hang out with us. He was trying to be as helpful as he could all day. I sat down with the teachers right before lunch and told them how great the leaders were today, especially Adam. The teachers at the table confided in me that Adam was the kid in seventh grade that was ridiculed. Since then he's come a long way and has become a great leader for the class. After lunch, I had time to talk with Adam about being on the Respect Retreat the year before. As I shared that memory with him, he had this huge smile on his face. He had this look that told me he was recalling the entire experience. At the pebble in the pond sharing time, Adam got up and shared with the seventh graders about his experience on the Courage Retreat four years ago. One of the kids that bullied him apologized that day. Because of that apology they had become good friends. Before he set the microphone down he thanked those kids who shared their act of courage. After the retreat, Adam stuck around after all the leaders left to help load our van. He insisted that he help carry the heavy stuff. I think he would have invited us to dinner just to keep us around!

It's moments like these that we are reminded of our incredible task to give our hearts and attention to kids on every retreat. What an honor we have!

-Todd Maas

An eighth grade girl named Katie stood up at the pebble in the pond sharing time at a recent Courage Retreat, and said, "I believe that the people in this room with the most courage are those who are made fun of everyday. It takes a lot of courage to hear that much negativity, and still come to school and deal with it. I am one who is most fearful, so I put people down everyday at school. So, instead, my act of courage is to stand up for those you that are getting picked on all the time." She put the mic down. As she walked back to where she was sitting, I noticed she had a very confident smile. That smiled seemed to say to me, that she got it and was ready to change her behavior in school.

-Debra Grahn

I think a Youth Frontiers retreat is special in many ways - one of them being how we're able to reach so many different kinds of students on so many different levels. Whether it's through music, or dancing, or through the talks, the retreats have the ability to connect with students at their own level, where they are comfortable.

Recently, I was leading a Respect Retreat where I met a ninth grader named Brooke. She reminded me a lot of my friends and I in ninth grade. After talking with her throughout the day, I discovered that she was feeling out of place in her school. She was struggling with fitting in, and like all 9th graders, she was trying to figure out who she was. Despite feeling out of place, she still seemed to be engaged in the retreats and having a great time. At the end of the day, she approached me and thanked me for the retreat, saying, "Lately, I've been having problems with cutting myself, and this retreat came at the perfect time. I know I need to start respecting myself more. So, thank you." Having that conversation with Brooke was tangible evidence that these retreats have an impact. I am proud to be a part of the change that will undoubtedly occur for Brooke. It is a great reminder of how lucky I am to do the work I do.

-Eric Malmberg

Standing at the mic during the end sharing activity of the retreat, Ashley said, "My act of courage is to stand up for people." She then turned and looked at another girl in her class. Then she said, "Molly, I'm sorry for not sticking up for you. And now, even though I don't know you very well, I'm going to stand up for you." When the day ended, I watched as Molly got up walked over to Ashley and gave her a big hug and said "Thank you." Ashley's act of courage allowed a new friendship to form.

-Todd Maas

Recently I was at a metro area school for a Respect Retreat. There was a ninth grade boy named Patrick who stood up in front of his class and said, "Every day I walk through the halls of our school, and every day I hear words like 'retarded' and 'lame.' It really hurts me to hear those words. I don't think many of you think that what you are saying is disrespectful, but it is. My aunt has Down Syndrome and whenever I spend time with her, I see people stare and laugh. It breaks my heart." He began to choke up as he said, "I am up here today to ask you to stop using language that is hurtful toward others. Please, just stop." As one of the facilitators on this retreat, I will never forget how inspiring it was to hear a ninth grader stand up for respect. What Patrick pointed out is that we all must learn to respect one another, regardless of our differences.

-Debra Grahn

Today we were on a Courage Retreat, and the high school small group leaders told us right away at the start of the day how fired up they were. Sometimes this momentum is drained by the end of the day, but at this the pebble in the pond closing time the energy still seemed very strong. Abbey, one of the outstanding high school leaders, got up to speak. She looked at the other retreat staff and myself and said, "I want to thank Youth Frontiers because you allowed us to have conversations that we wouldn't otherwise have." Her eyes welled up and you could hear the emotion in her voice as she continued. "Thank you because what you do makes a difference around here!"

-Todd Maas

During the closing activity at a recent Courage Retreat, an 8th grader named Kerin walked to the middle of the circle to share her "Act of Courage" with her class. Kerin said her Act of Courage was to "Just be me." She proceeded to explain that the reason she chose this Act of Courage was because that day at the Courage Retreat, she had the best day she had ever had in school so far! Kerin explained that she opened up more than she had ever done before, and was able to be herself without worrying what people thought of her. She wanted to keep that feeling going and knew it was going to be up to her. That day, Kerin realized how much happier she was without that mask--that we all wear too often. What an amazing Act of Courage!

-Kecia Winter

On most Courage retreats, I get the pleasure of hearing amazing individual acts of courage - students standing up for one another, apologizing, sharing stories about how they've changed and just want to be accepted for who they are; they even say profound statements like, "Be yourself; all others are taken," or, "What's popular is not always right, and what is right is not always popular." They are truly inspiring.

But it is less common that we hear these same sentiments from an ENTIRE class. I had the pleasure of working with a class that fully embraced their Courage Retreat. When it came to the sharing portion at the end of the retreat, it was as if there was one, collective voice speaking. It is hard to describe, but my other co-workers and I all had the same experience. You could literally feel the class coming together as one. This class was particularly struggling with issues of rumors and gossip-both with the female and male students. As one student after another stood up to share their acts of courage, many of them pertaining to the issue of gossip, you could feel a shift in the energy in the room. Everyone settled into their seats a little more comfortably; students looked around the circle with smiles of encouragement and affirmation; and the students who apologized to others did this with the utmost care and sincerity. It was an afternoon of honoring one another.

Another phenomenon that made this day so impressionable was the response from high school leaders. One of our leaders shared this at the end of the day: "Today's my birthday, and earlier this morning before I got here I wasn't sure if this was how I wanted to spend my birthday, and now...I can't imagine a better way to celebrate this day." In addition to him, another leader approached me after the retreat to thank me for our day. He was struggling a little bit to find the right words to express himself, but the last thing he said was this, "I don't think I even realize right now how much this day has made an impact, but I just know it's impacted my life."

It's days like these, when every single person in the room feels this positive affirmation and belief that things can and will get better, that I head home humbled by the experience...grateful to have been a part of it.

-Megan Lee-Erickson

We close our retreats by gathering all of the students in a large circle and giving the students a chance to speak to one another. At today's Courage retreat, the first girl, I think her name is Bethany, got up and said, "I have been teased since I was in 3rd grade. I sometimes think that I am the ugliest girl. Today, I needed to hear that I matter because I do. I am a beautiful person and I needed to hear that. That's what I learned."

I am so grateful that I could help this person.

-Todd Maas

At a 7th grade Courage Retreat, a few weeks back, a slight girl came up to the mic. She took a deep breath and said, "Hi my name is Bridget, and I haven't been myself lately. I've been edgy, I've had an attitude, and usually I'm really carefree and easygoing. My act of courage is to be myself." Then she looked around the room again and said, "And if you see me trying to be myself, please don't make fun of me." It was such a simple statement, but still one of the bravest acts of courage.

-Seniz Yargici

There was a boy, Blake, at a Courage retreat in Minnesota. It was obvious that he was not completely accepted by his class. The teachers at the retreat also told us about the battle he faces every day. They said that kids pick on him often, and sometimes he almost 'asks' for that attention, to get any attention at all.

There was another boy, Isaac, who was one that clearly got a lot of positive attention from his classmates. He was popular, outgoing, and had power in his class.

At the Pebble in the Pond sharing time, Isaac stood up first; before anyone else came to the center, and said that his Act of Courage was to stand up there and publicly announce that he would stop picking on Blake. He said he would stand up for him whenever he needed to. He then turned to Blake and apologized to him in front of the whole class. And finally, he turned to his friends and his peers and asked them to stop picking on Blake and take an opportunity to get to know him better.

Because of Isaac's courage to stand, his friends stood up, one by one, and apologized to Blake.

-Kecia Winter

Zach, a quiet but tough looking kid walked toward the microphone to speak to his classmates during the sharing time at the end of a Courage Retreat. He said, "Kyle, come up here." Kyle meekly walked up to Zach and stood in the middle of the circle. Zach then said, "Kyle, I was going to fight you. My act of courage is to not fight because that isn't right." Zach put down the mic and extended his hand. Kyle shook his hand with an astonished grin on his face. As if to say, 'hey I really mean it', Zach pulled Kyle's hand toward him for a quick hug. The students clapped for them both as they returned to their seats.

I have no doubt that Zach stayed true to his word. Something amazing happened that day.

-Todd Maas

At the end of the Courage Retreat, during the closing sharing time, a short, skinny boy approached the microphone. He picked it up and said, "My name is Brandon and everyday I walk down the halls and get pushed around." Brandon's voice quivered and tears began to form in his eyes. He continued, "I can't walk down the halls without someone picking on me. I can't go to lunch without someone pushing me down. My act of courage today is to stand up for myself and tell those who are picking on me to stop." The room was completely silent as Brandon walked back to his seat in the circle. I watched an entire class fall into a stunned silence.

I think the most striking thing is that Brandon inspired many of his classmates to stand up and share. I remember another kid standing up and saying, "Hey, if anyone needs a place to sit during lunch, you can hang out with me." It was the courage of Brandon to stand up for himself that moved the class to make a change.

-Todd Maas

This was the first year this particular school had Youth Frontiers to do a retreat. They had us in for two consecutive days to do a couple Courage Retreats. At the end of the first day, many of the teachers and staff were crying because they were so moved by what the students had to say. It was very powerful to see the school as a whole benefit from our program.

However, even more remarkable was what happened during the second day with the school. During the teacher's meeting, after I spoke with the teachers about what to expect from the day, I turned to one of the paraprofessionals. She was the only person who was there for two days in a row, so I asked her if she had any comments about the pebble in the pond activity that she wanted to share with the staff. The pebble in the pond is the time we give to the students to stand up and share their acts of courage to the rest of their classmates. Immediately she became teary and explained that she was so amazed by the number of students who shared, and even more so with the students who went first. She found that this day was a day for students to have a new beginning, and that there were new class leaders surfacing. I was hopeful that the teachers on the second day of the retreat would feel that same energy.

On this second day, there was a student in attendance that all the teachers had spoken with me about. They mentioned that Derrik was a student that had behavior issues, but seemed to be doing well that day. At the end of the day, Derrik was one of the first people to share. This tall seventh grader with shaggy dark hair and baggy clothes said, "My name is Derrik, and my act of courage is..." He stopped abruptly and looked up at the teachers. He went on, "well, actually first of all I want to thank the teachers for all their help this year, with all my stuff and everything. And because of all that, my act of courage is to forgive myself for things that I have done. This day has really made me realize that I can do that." Looking around, I saw that the teachers on the second day did feel the same energy, and that many were wiping their eyes. Truthfully, even I was crying by the end of that. This may have been one of the most powerful retreats I have ever led.

-Seniz Yargici

People often ask, "How can you tell the retreats are working?" Until recently, I didn't know how to answer that question. Then, I met Paul.

A few weeks ago, Paul, a senior in high school, showed up to be a high school leader for a Courage Retreat in central Minnesota. As a result of a physical disability, Paul is much smaller than a typical high school senior. The way he walks and the way he looks made him the victim of brutal amounts of teasing and name-calling throughout elementary and middle school. I had the opportunity to talk to this amazing and spirited young man during lunch when he shared with me that it wasn't until his own Courage Retreat in seventh grade that things began turning around. He said that prior to his Courage Retreat he went home crying nearly every day because of the pain inflicted by his classmates. During his Courage Retreat he finally stood up for himself by saying, "I can't help the way I look. I'm just asking for your respect." He said life after the Courage Retreat completely turned around. It is clear from the reaction of the other high school leaders that he is now one of the most well-known and beloved members of his class. He manages the school's football and basketball teams and was even dressed up as the starting quarterback for this year's Homecoming football game. Now when people ask me, "How can you tell it's working?" I just have to tell them about Paul...one of the thousands of lives changed by these retreats.

-Michelle Morse

A young boy named Justin stood up after filling out his Kindness card to share what he wrote with the class. He said, "I want to apologize to Brad, for all the bad times you've had here. Sometimes we are really mean to you and I am sorry for that. You are a nice person." He looked right at Brad and smiled. Later I saw Justin walk up to Brad at the end of the sharing and shake his hand. Then he gave him a hug. It was a very powerful moment!

-Debra Grahn

Yesterday at a Respect retreat, John got up and said, "Many people have gotten up and talked about how they feel when they get teased. Well, I am one of those people who tease others. When I was growing up I got picked on a lot. As I got older I began picking on others, I wanted to make others feel what it was like. I wanted them to feel the pain that I felt. Well, today I'm going to stop that. I need to treat others better because I don't want to cause that pain anymore." As he sat down, a girl looked back at me with thankful eyes and said, "I never thought he would say something like that!"

-Todd Maas

Last week during a Courage Retreat I couldn't help but notice Kris. Every time I was explaining a game or activity he was front and center competing for attention. Whether it was talking while we were talking or jumping up while every one was sitting down he was intent on doing things his way. The teachers flagged him as someone with a lot of power and leadership who didn't necessarily use it for good. I wondered on many occasions throughout the day if he was hearing what we had to say. So, naturally, I was blown away at the end of the day when, with tears in his eyes, Kris stood up and apologized to all those he had disrespected and hurt with his words and actions. It's truly amazing sometimes how the most challenging student turns out to be the most powerfully impacted.

-Michelle Morse

I delivered a retreat in a community where everyone wants to blend in. There was very little diversity, and the few kids with disabilities were picked on all the time. There was one boy named Mark, who had cerebral palsy and was relentlessly harassed.

All day long we had noticed Mark, because of his enthusiasm he had for everything. He was bright-eyed and smiling all day long. At the end of the day during the sharing time, a few students came up to the middle and apologized to Mark. They were very sincere with their words and expressed how unfair it was that he was ridiculed so much. After about 5 minutes, Mark stood up and approached the microphone. Mark was short, and had a little tremble in his walk that prevented him from walking very fast. When he made it to the center of the room, he picked up the mic and said very slowly, "My name is Mark. Thank you for apologizing to me, and I want to apologize to you all too. I make fun of you too. I'm really sorry." He made his way back to the spot where he was sitting. The sharing time continued, and another few minutes pass and a dark-haired girl approached the middle of the room. She said, "I want to say I'm sorry to Mark, and I think the entire 7th grade should come up here and apologize to him." After a short pause she demanded, "I'm serious you guys, right now, come up here." What happened next was astounding. Slowly the crowd, about 40 seventh graders, emerged and gathered in the center of the room facing Mark. Sarah asked Mark to stand, and on the inaudible count of three they all said, "We're sorry Mark." Mark stood there for a moment with tears streaming down his face and said, "I forgive you." Sarah asked Mark to join the rest of the class in the circle. Mark, still bewildered, just stood there. Out of the silence, another retreat staff, Todd Hansen, suggested the class go and join Mark. All of the students went and hugged this little boy - a true change happened that day.

At the end of the day Mark walked by Todd, looked up and said, "Today was a good day."

-Seniz Yargici